Our things

One of the crazier experiences that I’ve noticed lately, is how few possessions I have.

I still own the same number of things or -to be more accurate- the things I’ve purchased over the years are still in my house, but they’re no longer “my” things. They’re “ours.”

For instance.

Today Claire and I were discussing honeymoon locations when Claire said:

Why don’t you look that up on the ipad?

An innocent enough statement, you might say. But let’s look at the implications here. Continue reading

Poor Timing…

Claire and I chat off and on throughout the day while we’re at our respective work places. If I have a few minutes of down-time I’ll check in and we’ll talk about what we had for lunch and the other minutiae of life.

The funny thing about Claire, though, is that she absolutely cannot detect sarcasm via text. This causes some consternation.

For example, we had this exchange about 25 minutes ago:

Jamey – 3:21pm: We have to postpone the wedding.
Claire – 3:21pm: what????
Claire – 3:21pm: what do you mean?
Claire – 3:21pm: and when on earth could we move it?
Claire – 3:21pm: what happened?
Jamey – 3:26pm: the new Batman game is out on the 18th
Jamey – 3:26pm: so
Jamey – 3:26pm: wedding’s off
Claire – 3:27pm: That was wrong.
Jamey – 3:27pm: What? I was just teasing you!

The issue is, of course, that 5 minute gap between my starting the tease, and the reveal.

Within that 5 minutes, I assume, Claire was immediately thinking all manner of horrible things that were happening in my office: firings, cancer test results, etc.

Luckily for me(although not luckily considering the story) the reason I was distracted for those five minutes was good enough to rein in Claire’s anger. A co-worker was telling me about his Brother’s family that lives in Japan and what they’re going through.

So I have learned a lesson today. When teasing Claire, make sure that the punchline is delivered in a timely fashion.

Hopefully, Chef Whiting will help me out this evening.

Sorry, Darling!

Whoa /Keanu

Every now and then Claire will say something that blows my mind.

Today’s example occurred in a brief chat:

Claire: I think I’m going to grow out my eyebrows.

Jamey: The implications of that statement boggle  my mind.

I know that women do a lot of weird things to conform to the modern ideal of beauty. This is something that I know intellectually. But from time to time I’m confronted by the shocking difference between the lives of Women and Men.

This is an excellent example. It never crossed, for one second, my mind that women controlled the length of their eyebrows.  I knew that there was plucking and waxing, but controlling the length? Whoa.

The implications that I referred to above are that Claire is constantly reviewing and critiquing her appearance. This review is done to such a minute degree that she’s questioning the length of her eyebrows. My mind is immediately racing:

Does everyone do this?

How can this be important?

Are MY eyebrows too long?

Luckily, Claire interrupted me.

Claire: Nevermind. According to beauty brow experts of the blogosphere, I have good eyebrows.

Taken care of!

Whatever she’s doing works.

I think she’s great.

A bottle of wine and the Internet do not mix

Very occasionally, Jamey and I get awfully silly.

And tonight we got awfully silly.

I bring you our future child:

The Jamey-Claire baby.

This is our future. Is it a girl? Is it a boy? Why is it blond? Only time will tell.

But for now, I can only say that for the past hour we have had way too much fun with this website and its photo uploading and blending capabilities.

…Now back to your regularly scheduled Thursday evening.

P’s and Q’s

Yesterday while at work, I made what I think is a very funny comment,
but no one else laughed. So I am going to inflict it on the people who bother to read this.

I was in a conference call with some clients and we were reviewing an excel spreadsheet.
My teammate asked a question to the client, “Do you have a status on item number 4?”

The reply: “I have updated it in columns P and Q.”

To which I replied, “You should be minding your P’s and Q’s.”

Pay attention to them.

Genius, right?

There was a half-chuckle from someone in the room with me and a bit of a giggle on the phone. I am still shocked no one else found it that amusing. I mean… it’s funny on multiple levels.

Allow me to explain.

Level 1: I was telling this lady that if she’d paid attention to the details then she would have seen the answer to her question without having to ask. This is funny because the phrase “Mind your Ps and Qs” means you should pay attention to details.

Level 2: If she had reviewed columns P and Q she wouldn’t have had to ask the question, so “Mind your Ps and Qs” meant to review those columns.

A fantastic joke.