Jokes

Poor Timing…

/ Jamey / 2 Comments

Claire and I chat off and on throughout the day while we’re at our respective work places. If I have a few minutes of down-time I’ll check in and we’ll talk about what we had for lunch and the other minutiae of life.

The funny thing about Claire, though, is that she absolutely cannot detect sarcasm via text. This causes some consternation.

For example, we had this exchange about 25 minutes ago:

Jamey – 3:21pm: We have to postpone the wedding.
Claire – 3:21pm: what????
Claire – 3:21pm: what do you mean?
Claire – 3:21pm: and when on earth could we move it?
Claire – 3:21pm: what happened?
Jamey – 3:26pm: the new Batman game is out on the 18th
Jamey – 3:26pm: so
Jamey – 3:26pm: wedding’s off
Claire – 3:27pm: That was wrong.
Jamey – 3:27pm: What? I was just teasing you!

The issue is, of course, that 5 minute gap between my starting the tease, and the reveal.

Within that 5 minutes, I assume, Claire was immediately thinking all manner of horrible things that were happening in my office: firings, cancer test results, etc.

Luckily for me(although not luckily considering the story) the reason I was distracted for those five minutes was good enough to rein in Claire’s anger. A co-worker was telling me about his Brother’s family that lives in Japan and what they’re going through.

So I have learned a lesson today. When teasing Claire, make sure that the punchline is delivered in a timely fashion.

Hopefully, Chef Whiting will help me out this evening.

Sorry, Darling!

P’s and Q’s

/ Jamey / 5 Comments

Yesterday while at work, I made what I think is a very funny comment,
but no one else laughed. So I am going to inflict it on the people who bother to read this.

I was in a conference call with some clients and we were reviewing an excel spreadsheet.
My teammate asked a question to the client, “Do you have a status on item number 4?”

The reply: “I have updated it in columns P and Q.”

To which I replied, “You should be minding your P’s and Q’s.”

Pay attention to them.

Genius, right?

There was a half-chuckle from someone in the room with me and a bit of a giggle on the phone. I am still shocked no one else found it that amusing. I mean… it’s funny on multiple levels.

Allow me to explain.

Level 1: I was telling this lady that if she’d paid attention to the details then she would have seen the answer to her question without having to ask. This is funny because the phrase “Mind your Ps and Qs” means you should pay attention to details.

Level 2: If she had reviewed columns P and Q she wouldn’t have had to ask the question, so “Mind your Ps and Qs” meant to review those columns.

A fantastic joke.