Restless Nights

So it happened. I had my first night of dreams about The Wedding.

These dreams were made up of a few sub-types:

  • I was late to the wedding and missed it.
  • I had too many drinks during the day and showed up to the church drunk. -Not sure how this would happen…
  • Couldn’t find my tux. -This actually resulted in arriving to the ceremony naked…

I suppose this kind of thing is normal when the wedding is a lot of what Claire and I talk about these days, but it sure doesn’t make for a restful night’s sleep.

Whoa /Keanu

Every now and then Claire will say something that blows my mind.

Today’s example occurred in a brief chat:

Claire: I think I’m going to grow out my eyebrows.

Jamey: The implications of that statement boggle  my mind.

I know that women do a lot of weird things to conform to the modern ideal of beauty. This is something that I know intellectually. But from time to time I’m confronted by the shocking difference between the lives of Women and Men.

This is an excellent example. It never crossed, for one second, my mind that women controlled the length of their eyebrows.  I knew that there was plucking and waxing, but controlling the length? Whoa.

The implications that I referred to above are that Claire is constantly reviewing and critiquing her appearance. This review is done to such a minute degree that she’s questioning the length of her eyebrows. My mind is immediately racing:

Does everyone do this?

How can this be important?

Are MY eyebrows too long?

Luckily, Claire interrupted me.

Claire: Nevermind. According to beauty brow experts of the blogosphere, I have good eyebrows.

Taken care of!

Whatever she’s doing works.

I think she’s great.

P’s and Q’s

Yesterday while at work, I made what I think is a very funny comment,
but no one else laughed. So I am going to inflict it on the people who bother to read this.

I was in a conference call with some clients and we were reviewing an excel spreadsheet.
My teammate asked a question to the client, “Do you have a status on item number 4?”

The reply: “I have updated it in columns P and Q.”

To which I replied, “You should be minding your P’s and Q’s.”

Pay attention to them.

Genius, right?

There was a half-chuckle from someone in the room with me and a bit of a giggle on the phone. I am still shocked no one else found it that amusing. I mean… it’s funny on multiple levels.

Allow me to explain.

Level 1: I was telling this lady that if she’d paid attention to the details then she would have seen the answer to her question without having to ask. This is funny because the phrase “Mind your Ps and Qs” means you should pay attention to details.

Level 2: If she had reviewed columns P and Q she wouldn’t have had to ask the question, so “Mind your Ps and Qs” meant to review those columns.

A fantastic joke.

Smoke ’em if you got ’em

I got a smoker for Christmas from my parents that is absolutely fantastic.

Smoker!

Fully assembled and heating up for the initial run.

The first item we smoked was a Boston butt. I rubbed it with what I can only describe as nectar of the gods in barbecue rub form.

I discovered Uncle Yammy’s with my friend Cameron last Spring when we went up to Pawley’s Island. Cameron discovered it in the store there and it was a hit.

I had to go to seven grocery stores to find it in Charleston, but find it I did!
It is a standby.

Here’s the initial Butt in the smoker: Continue reading