Whoa /Keanu

Every now and then Claire will say something that blows my mind.

Today’s example occurred in a brief chat:

Claire: I think I’m going to grow out my eyebrows.

Jamey: The implications of that statement boggle  my mind.

I know that women do a lot of weird things to conform to the modern ideal of beauty. This is something that I know intellectually. But from time to time I’m confronted by the shocking difference between the lives of Women and Men.

This is an excellent example. It never crossed, for one second, my mind that women controlled the length of their eyebrows.  I knew that there was plucking and waxing, but controlling the length? Whoa.

The implications that I referred to above are that Claire is constantly reviewing and critiquing her appearance. This review is done to such a minute degree that she’s questioning the length of her eyebrows. My mind is immediately racing:

Does everyone do this?

How can this be important?

Are MY eyebrows too long?

Luckily, Claire interrupted me.

Claire: Nevermind. According to beauty brow experts of the blogosphere, I have good eyebrows.

Taken care of!

Whatever she’s doing works.

I think she’s great.

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The future John Hancock

I just need to put this out there from the beginning: this post is going to be a tad ridiculous. That said, I am now going to embrace the silliness wholeheartedly.

One of the fun, girly things that my girly friends have been asking me lately is if I have started to practice my new signature. Oddly, it’s been a few years since I’ve had a crush on a boy in this way and felt the need to daydream about our future love,  marriage , and doodle my first name with his last all over my binder. I guess you could say the humiliation factor of someone potentially seeing my name with his intertwined all over my notebook was a little bit of a turn-off.

So, fast-forward 13 years, and here I am sitting at work doing the exact opposite.

Practicing the new signature.

I’ve reworked “Claire Monahan” in several different styles. One of the strangest things about this future new last name is that I will no longer end in an “i.” Nothing to dot, nothing to flip, just an “n” that drifts off. How do I finish a signature with this? Continue reading

P’s and Q’s

Yesterday while at work, I made what I think is a very funny comment,
but no one else laughed. So I am going to inflict it on the people who bother to read this.

I was in a conference call with some clients and we were reviewing an excel spreadsheet.
My teammate asked a question to the client, “Do you have a status on item number 4?”

The reply: “I have updated it in columns P and Q.”

To which I replied, “You should be minding your P’s and Q’s.”

Pay attention to them.

Genius, right?

There was a half-chuckle from someone in the room with me and a bit of a giggle on the phone. I am still shocked no one else found it that amusing. I mean… it’s funny on multiple levels.

Allow me to explain.

Level 1: I was telling this lady that if she’d paid attention to the details then she would have seen the answer to her question without having to ask. This is funny because the phrase “Mind your Ps and Qs” means you should pay attention to details.

Level 2: If she had reviewed columns P and Q she wouldn’t have had to ask the question, so “Mind your Ps and Qs” meant to review those columns.

A fantastic joke.

Epic Mickey isn’t so epic these days

I got a video game for Christmas.

That paintbrush spraying action? WAY harder than it looks.

It’s Epic Mickey, which I play on the Nintendo Wii system. If you’re familiar with how the Wii controller works, it’s a handheld wireless remote that you wave at the sensor bar, which can be placed either above or below the television. How you wave or move the remote determines your character’s actions on the screen and in the game. High-tech? Possibly. Stressful? Way more than I like to admit.

Continue reading

Dying birds? Thanks!

Nostradamus

The man who saw it all coming...

When I was a kid I had an obsession with Nostradamus. He’s the 16th century Frenchman who purportedly predicted all sorts of things from Napoleon and Hitler to which Popes would be elected when. After reading modern translations of his quatrains I surmised that he was mostly full of it.

But lately… There have been some pretty creepy occurences.

What are we to make of it? Is this the end times? All that stuff the Mayans warned us about?

Well, it’s simple, really.

It’s my fault for becoming happily engaged.

Sorry!

Please note that this is entirely tongue-in-cheek and I in no way believe that any of my actions could directly result in the apocalypse. I just have an odd sense of humor.